Train

The Devil's Pass + Polar Express

From the very start this movie has a great creepy feel to it; and has solid, acceptable foreshadowing. Lost in a foreign country, a desire for mischief, and a bunch of creepy Eastern Europeans on drugs.

The limited view is amazingly terrifying, and mixed with the chaos of not knowing exactly what is happening pulls you right into the same situation as the actors. Again, terrifying.

The lack of hesitation on the part of the butcher-like figure makes my mouth run dry, and certain orifices clench. He's creepy as hell. He reminds me of the butcher on the original Diablo game the just likes to F.S.U.!

The best b-movie-like aspect of this movie is that the gore starts early, and only escalates. Every time I think "that wasn't necessary...", I just tell myself "ya, but it was awesome!"

A great movie gets you going early, and leaves you wondering why a couple hours later you're as tense as a 12 year old at his first physical.

And how big is this train?! Every scene is in a new car. By the end of the movie the train is going to have to be miles long. And for finding blood on the walls the kids stay rather calm. I'd seriously lose my shit if I found blood on the walls of a train. Not normal!

I decided people get hit in the face too much. And meat hooks are over-used in horror movies. There are a myriad of other sharp, pointy devices that are equally cringe-worthy.

I'm going to go ahead and make my mid-movie prediction that only one person lives to tell the tale.

I usually give a movie a few passes on people being (conveniently) dumb. Nobody ever carries concealed, nobody has the idea to find a good weapon, or run like a sane human being, or call the police, etc. And unfortunately, many movies take advantage of my generous media-consumption habits. A character can only make so many mistakes before I think "Fine! Let 'em die...dumbass". No phones, no weapons, you gave you passport to a hooligan who looked like a fat chimney sweep stranger. The only dumber horror movie cast member was Paris in House of Wax. And that's not setting the bar very high.

The twist at the end is redeeming though! Instead of some maniac slashing teens to feed an unworldly beast, there is an actual plot behind it all! Who would have thought?!

But the formerly-Asian-looking boy with their friend's eyes?! How fast did they do those? The train had only been stopped for a few minutes.

The famous howie scream really topped things off too!